Arthur Schopenhauer – The Art of Being Right

So there was this old fuck named Arthur Schopenhauer. Apparently he was a ladies man, because he was a dick. Being a dick is half of being a troll, because trolls are reported to have dicks that make up at least half of their body mass.

He called it as he saw it when it came to women. This quote is not extracted from his essay “On Women,” but it sums up his thoughts:

Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another; but women are by nature enemies.

And then he took it a step further and penned a treatise named The Art of Being Right, which is a good starter text for any would-be troll who doesn’t want to dive balls deep into the Ancient Greeks. lol

In The Art of Being Right, Schopenhauer takes his knowledge of logical fallacy and other argumentative trolling tomfoolery and distills it into well-meted practical applications. Yes, you don’t have to be perfectly logical to make an argument, a simple piece of information, look like it’s worth more than gold. You could almost argue that it’s a satire and he’s picking apart the way other people make the most ridiculous arguments stand up in the face of truth.

While it may be “weak” to some to argue in this “dishonest” manner, it’s trolling. Ninja might as well be called weak for not fighting out in the open like the samurai with their bushido code of honor or whatever, but who gives a fuck, both of them get people dead. However it is the nature of the ninja to infiltrate and deceive. If you are too feeble to tell bullshit from truth, then you shouldn’t be arguing in the first place.

In the future, we will be discussing troll ethics.

TROLLTIP #6 – THE HIERARCHY OF TROLL ARGUMENTS

Believe it or not, there’s a gay little hierarchy pyramid of levels of argument/disagreement.

This is important so look at it with your faceholes:
Hierarchy of Arguments

In a nutshell, the pyramid above works like this:

  • You can communicate effectively with people on the same level
  • People at a level or more below a particular argument level will not understand it
  • People who are at a level or more above a particular argument level will be able to stoop to the lower level, but should not expect the same of the lower

Ideally we could all look at the argument pyramid at the top and expect to communicate as such, but sadly everyone’s minds these days are fucked up and shit. They will stoop to dirty tactics when trying to push their propaganda, and if you can identify where these tactics lie, you can use these same tactics against them, albeit with more strategy and discretion.

For example, imagine some little faggot is arguing at DH3. This is the point of no return, basically, if their argument rhetoric descends below DH3, you cannot expect them to respond to a DH4 or above. Instead, resort to spamming them with dickgirls, scat fetish porn, etc. as this is all that they will respond to — rational argument is gone. If both of you reach level DH0, you will waste your time arguing with them since there is no exchange of ideas at that level.

Let’s say someone is at a level above DH3 where they have enough brainpower to say more than “I disagree”. They often will hold onto their level, so you could use a sockpuppet and shit on their thread at a level DH3 or below using an argument contrary to the person, but also contrary what you actually wish to argue. Then you come in and slay the sockpuppet with your flawless reasoning, instantly establishing yourself some influence cred. This person will be open to influence and reason, so you can now safely present your argument after having shut up a little bitch with your mega troll intelligence.

There will be more to come that builds upon this new and interesting concept.

TBHQ Hall of Fame – Anita Sarkeesian takes some shit

A TBHQ Official recently brought this gem to our attention, and we are posting it here now for your viewing pleasure.

Anita Sarkeesian facebook comment from disgruntled reader
To the fearless warrior who gallantly carried this shining beacon of truth deep into a den of ignorance, darkness and despair for all to gaze upon, TBHQ heartily salutes you.

 

 

 

4 Basic Online Forum User Archetypes

It is helpful to know which character to portray when sockpuppeting or otherwise becoming part of a community that you want nothing to do with except for troll purposes. These archetypes are what happen when one’s ego comes between mind and keyboard – it is stupid and these people should feel stupid.

For this concept, I have formulated a new acronym: PEBMAKProblem Exists Between Mind And Keyboard.

Anyway, these are some basic archetypes I’ve noticed in your everyday unaware forum users:

The Little Bitch

The little bitch is labeled as such because he bends over backwards to acommodate the community’s opinions and beliefs, often taking shit from the other users and loving it. He finds himself often unsure and has no opinion or critical thinking skills of his own. He is a pure useful idiot, but that’s just it: he’s an idiot. He just echoes others’ opinions for approval because he wants to belong.
The Little Bitch Forum Archetype
If he found another community before this one, he would’ve been a part of it too, sharing the same approved opinions of that community. These are probably one of the most common characters in friendlier online communities because these guys can sometimes take too much shit and get their feelings hurt in more tight-knit “elitist” communities.

It is good to create several sockpuppets of these to suck the dick of the Unique Faggot, described in the next entry. This will put your Unique Faggot at a great advantage.

The Unique Faggot

The opinionated Unique Faggot is the counterpart to the little bitch, the yin to little bitch’s yang. He often holds an opinion for the sake of having a slightly different, more complex or “better” version of the common opinion that is shared by the community, thus making himself more special and elevating his status above that of the rest of the horde.
The Unique Faggot Forum Archetype
Like the little bitch, he is a pure useful idiot except his ego wishes to have all of the glory and the power that comes with being part of a stupid online forum. In an online community, there is probably one of these per 10 members, and they often shit on and stand on the backs of Little Bitches to gain their forum ego-status. The more little bitches that they have on their cock, the bigger their egos and forum statuses grow. Some of the bigger ones even have entire hierarchical chains of little bitches and unique faggots forming the structure and basis of their ego-pyramid, and their opinion-influence trickles down, like imaginary wealth.

If there aren’t enough little bitches around and/or they haven’t been around the community for long, they are shunned down into Little Bitch-hood for that particular community. If not enough people think they’re cool or unique individuals or whatever, these tools go to other communities.

Because unique faggots often spur controversy and become a locus of influence, this is a key archetype to emulate with sockpuppets. Combine with your own array of Little Bitches, and your Unique Faggot will become talk of the town. You can create infights and tear apart entire online communities this way.

The Pseudo-troll

This little fucklord thinks he is a troll, so he says stupid shit and shits on threads like a retarded little baby getting spaghetti all over his face and his high chair eating tray. He adds nothing constructive to any discussion, and the pseudo-troll is often half of where Little Bitches get their shit from.

When it comes down to it, he is often a bored little loser that has a severe case of ADD/ADHD, and can’t formulate a single critical thought or opinion because it requires too much focus to do so. He just wants to stir shit up and have a giggle. Don’t we all? 😀

As he matures or settles down, he often evolves into a Unique Faggot if he is a big enough loser who hates his life enough to value his membership with that particular community. Otherwise, he will move on aimlessly from one forum to the next until he kills himself or has to go to the store to reload on some Doritos.

This is a good archetype to emulate with a sockpuppet in order to shit on or derail a given thread that you may not have the upper hand in. He may also double as a Little Bitch. YAY! GO BRUNHILDE! ❤

The Zealous Moderator

There’s always a couple of these moderators someplace. They often evolve from power-hungry Unique Faggots into Zealous Moderators if they have proven to be an egotistical gravitational center of member activity and discussion, i.e. he’s the talk of the forum because he’s so unique and cool. Administrators see that this Unique Faggot creates activity and discussion, and they like that their community is so active with discussion, so they put this guy in charge of part of their community to make them feel more special than they already feel.
Zealous Moderator Forum Archetype

What happens if you stoke the fires of the ego with moderation privileges? He becomes an even bigger asshole than before. He will shit on people for having different opinions, he will not foster constructive discussion and exchange of ideas, and he will lord his power with an egotistical iron fist.

This will work for you if your sockpuppet becomes one of these. It only gives you more influence in a given online community.

Am i doing it right?

If it resembles this, then yes.

Forum Archetype Sockpuppets

TROLLTIP #4 – TROLLDRUGS – HACKERS ON STEROIDS

hackers on steroidsWant to know what the biggest, baddest trolls use to get a leg up on their competition?

It’s not steroids either, but it might as well be. I have a list of substances that may interest you as a troll. You see, trolling requires you to be at your quickest wit. Sometimes we’re just born retarded but if you’re like me, you probably have plenty of brainpower and aren’t using it to its fullest potential. This will also help you in areas other than trolling, like talking to babes, fooling your boss into giving an irresponsible shit like you a raise at work, or even doing something productive at school or other place of higher learning.

Easy-mode drugs: Stimulants

Stimulants are pretty easy to come by. The most recommended, legal and affordable stimulants for trolls are the following:

  • Coffee – Yes, coffee is man’s most widely-used stimulant drug. Thanks to caffeine, everyone’s brains can be awake no matter what. You can get it almost anywhere, but you save so much more money if you brew your own. Hate coffee? Add some milk, or cream with some sugar and a TINY pinch of salt (cuts down the acidic taste from bad coffee).
  • Green Tea – Green tea is good and good for you. No, I don’t mean the cheapo bag green tea, but it is better than nothing. If you can, get some loose-leaf green tea and brew that shit in a teapot, strain it out or use grandma’s french press. Your author here consumes well over a half-gallon of fresh-brewed green tea daily. Since I began doing this months ago, I’ve been at the top of my game, mentally speaking. Green tea contains a non-essential amino acid called L-Theanine which promotes Alpha brainwave activity – leading to awake calmness and ease of learning and improved memory. It has a synergistic effect with caffeine, eliminating many of caffeine’s negative side effects, and can actually be purchased as a separate supplement if you hate tea for some stupid fucking reason.

I don’t mess with other prescription stimulants like Adderall because they’re basically methamphetamine analogues. If you’re going to do that, make sure you pop some l-theanine too. But I have some better ones than prescription ADD pills.

leeterol - steroids for hackers and trolls

The ‘good’ drugs: Nootropics

Nootropic means “bending/turning the mind” – literally getting those gears cranking. A nootropic is a drug that increases the brain’s working capacity, intellect, creative thought, or all of the above, by varying mechanisms. There is NO CRASH unlike stimulants, and pretty much no side effects for most, if not all of them. MAKE SURE YOU GET SOME CHOLINE TO GO WITH THEM. It is not a requirement but makes it much better. I will detail some of the most common nootropics and a few that I have interest in taking for myself:

  • Piracetam – Piracetam is considered the ‘first’ nootropic of the *racetam family of nootropics. Is it basically free of toxicity or side effects. It is water soluble, and is not able to cross the blood-brain barrier effectively, but it is suggested that it helps improve working memory and thought in healthy individuals. It was originally developed to treat Alzheimer’s! It is supposed to facilitate communication between the hemispheres of the brain, among many other strange brain-beneficial effects.
  • Pramiracetam/Aniracetam/Oxiracetam – other *racetam drugs which provide the same or better effects than piracetam as they were developed later.
  • Modafinil – This shit was developed for insomniacs. This guy swears by it, even comparing it to a brain drug called NZT from some movie called Limitless. It was developed for narcoleptics, but has been shown to improve cognitive health, memory and focus in a stimulant-like fashion without having any of the other nasty effects of stimulants.

Other brain supplements

  • Huperzine A – This comes from a firmoss that is native to Asia. This alkaloid chemical is an acetylcholinesterase inhibitor, meaning it makes goddamn sure that your brain is using its choline. It is shown to improve cognitive function.
  • Choline – You NEED to take this if you’re going to take any *racetams because your brain will use it up. You don’t want a mild headache, do you?
  • Holy Basil (Tulsi) – This herb is renowned in Indian Ayurvedic medicine for its calming, stress-relieving properties. It has been shown to inhibit COX-2, like a modern painkiller. Makes your mind focused and clear like a fluffy cloud drifting in the wind.
  • Fish Oil & Flaxseed oil – Your brain is made out of Omega-3’s, and this is a vital nutrient for your body and mind. Take this shit. Best is cod liver oil, next is fish oil, then flaxseed oil. Dead last is fucking canola oil, because even though it bills itself as having high Omega-3 content, that shit is BAD FOR YOU. Eat some fucking butter and bacon grease, son.

Where to buy + Discounts

  • For Coffee + Green Tea – Grocery stores and health food stores are your best bet. You can also order online if you are lazy. Search on Amazon.
  • Piracetam, Aniracetam, Oxiracetam, Pramiracetam, etc. – There are many people who sell this. You can check Amazon (again), buy it in capsules at discount right here, or even buy a special blend of *racetams and brain-booster supplements called “Get Smart.”
  • Modafinil – This thing goes by several different brand names and in different countries. It is by prescription for narcolepsy, but you can buy it online without a prescription. Short of getting a prescription or going to Mexico to buy it, you have to order it online. I haven’t ordered any yet, but this guy recommends a particular site.
  • Choline/Huperzine A/Holy Basil/Fish+Flaxseed Oil – You can get all of these at vitamin stores, health food stores, and the ol’ Amazon.com.