hackers on steroidsWant to know what the biggest, baddest trolls use to get a leg up on their competition?

It’s not steroids either, but it might as well be. I have a list of substances that may interest you as a troll. You see, trolling requires you to be at your quickest wit. Sometimes we’re just born retarded but if you’re like me, you probably have plenty of brainpower and aren’t using it to its fullest potential. This will also help you in areas other than trolling, like talking to babes, fooling your boss into giving an irresponsible shit like you a raise at work, or even doing something productive at school or other place of higher learning.

Easy-mode drugs: Stimulants

Stimulants are pretty easy to come by. The most recommended, legal and affordable stimulants for trolls are the following:

  • Coffee – Yes, coffee is man’s most widely-used stimulant drug. Thanks to caffeine, everyone’s brains can be awake no matter what. You can get it almost anywhere, but you save so much more money if you brew your own. Hate coffee? Add some milk, or cream with some sugar and a TINY pinch of salt (cuts down the acidic taste from bad coffee).
  • Green Tea – Green tea is good and good for you. No, I don’t mean the cheapo bag green tea, but it is better than nothing. If you can, get some loose-leaf green tea and brew that shit in a teapot, strain it out or use grandma’s french press. Your author here consumes well over a half-gallon of fresh-brewed green tea daily. Since I began doing this months ago, I’ve been at the top of my game, mentally speaking. Green tea contains a non-essential amino acid called L-Theanine which promotes Alpha brainwave activity – leading to awake calmness and ease of learning and improved memory. It has a synergistic effect with caffeine, eliminating many of caffeine’s negative side effects, and can actually be purchased as a separate supplement if you hate tea for some stupid fucking reason.

I don’t mess with other prescription stimulants like Adderall because they’re basically methamphetamine analogues. If you’re going to do that, make sure you pop some l-theanine too. But I have some better ones than prescription ADD pills.

leeterol - steroids for hackers and trolls

The ‘good’ drugs: Nootropics

Nootropic means “bending/turning the mind” – literally getting those gears cranking. A nootropic is a drug that increases the brain’s working capacity, intellect, creative thought, or all of the above, by varying mechanisms. There is NO CRASH unlike stimulants, and pretty much no side effects for most, if not all of them. MAKE SURE YOU GET SOME CHOLINE TO GO WITH THEM. It is not a requirement but makes it much better. I will detail some of the most common nootropics and a few that I have interest in taking for myself:

  • Piracetam – Piracetam is considered the ‘first’ nootropic of the *racetam family of nootropics. Is it basically free of toxicity or side effects. It is water soluble, and is not able to cross the blood-brain barrier effectively, but it is suggested that it helps improve working memory and thought in healthy individuals. It was originally developed to treat Alzheimer’s! It is supposed to facilitate communication between the hemispheres of the brain, among many other strange brain-beneficial effects.
  • Pramiracetam/Aniracetam/Oxiracetam – other *racetam drugs which provide the same or better effects than piracetam as they were developed later.
  • Modafinil – This shit was developed for insomniacs. This guy swears by it, even comparing it to a brain drug called NZT from some movie called Limitless. It was developed for narcoleptics, but has been shown to improve cognitive health, memory and focus in a stimulant-like fashion without having any of the other nasty effects of stimulants.

Other brain supplements

  • Huperzine A – This comes from a firmoss that is native to Asia. This alkaloid chemical is an acetylcholinesterase inhibitor, meaning it makes goddamn sure that your brain is using its choline. It is shown to improve cognitive function.
  • Choline – You NEED to take this if you’re going to take any *racetams because your brain will use it up. You don’t want a mild headache, do you?
  • Holy Basil (Tulsi) – This herb is renowned in Indian Ayurvedic medicine for its calming, stress-relieving properties. It has been shown to inhibit COX-2, like a modern painkiller. Makes your mind focused and clear like a fluffy cloud drifting in the wind.
  • Fish Oil & Flaxseed oil – Your brain is made out of Omega-3’s, and this is a vital nutrient for your body and mind. Take this shit. Best is cod liver oil, next is fish oil, then flaxseed oil. Dead last is fucking canola oil, because even though it bills itself as having high Omega-3 content, that shit is BAD FOR YOU. Eat some fucking butter and bacon grease, son.

Where to buy + Discounts

  • For Coffee + Green Tea – Grocery stores and health food stores are your best bet. You can also order online if you are lazy. Search on Amazon.
  • Piracetam, Aniracetam, Oxiracetam, Pramiracetam, etc. – There are many people who sell this. You can check Amazon (again), buy it in capsules at discount right here, or even buy a special blend of *racetams and brain-booster supplements called “Get Smart.”
  • Modafinil – This thing goes by several different brand names and in different countries. It is by prescription for narcolepsy, but you can buy it online without a prescription. Short of getting a prescription or going to Mexico to buy it, you have to order it online. I haven’t ordered any yet, but this guy recommends a particular site.
  • Choline/Huperzine A/Holy Basil/Fish+Flaxseed Oil – You can get all of these at vitamin stores, health food stores, and the ol’


  1. […] keeping up with this series, you already know how to make your sockpuppets, keep track of them and take your hacker steroids and live a good IRL life. Now we’re going to use those sockpuppets for something useful […]

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